The worst belief we can instill in our children and its harmful effect on their mental health.
If we have to talk about mistakes, we can surely admit that the biggest mistake we can make, whether due to ignorance or unconsciousness, is to instill FEAR - of any kind - in our children.
Experts and specialists from all areas of self-improvement and human behavior
studies currently agree on this aspect:
Fears of any kind limit freedom of thinking, paralyze the intelligence and
produce in the youngster´s brain a neurochemical pattern that makes them experience emotions of anguish, disappointment and dread. Once established, those patterns hardly change as an adult.
The mental images that are recorded in the child´s brain are DEEPLY ROOTED in the subconscious mind and remain there for life - applying constantly a negative and unpleasant influence on his behavior that prevents him from living a life in full FREEDOM.
Most adults accept to deal with different fears throughout our lives that were acquired in childhood as an unconscious pattern, through the different types of fears instilled by the surroundings.
WHERE DO FEARS COME FROM?
WHAT GENERATES THEM?
ARE ALL FEARS THE SAME?
Experts in the field have discovered that there are two types of fears:
a) Biological fears, like fear of loud noises and fear of falls, loss of balance and shock)
b) Cultural or social fears, which are NOT natural but are unconsciously acquired through established BELIEFS and experiences of HIGH EMOTIONAL IMPACT generally experienced during our childhood.
In this article we are going to concentrate just on the SECOND TYPE of fears, which are cultural. They cause the greatest amount of LIMITATIONS and PREJUDICES in our lives and those of our children.
WHY WE ARE SO LIKELY TO FEEL FEAR
Our brain is a perfect machine designed for SURVIVAL. Its main function is to keep us alive and therefor it permanently seeks two things: SAVE ENERGY and AVOID DANGER. This tendency so dened by nature makes our brain highly SUGGESTIBLE AND PERMEABLE to all beliefs or ideas, real or not, that contain dangerous components, being explicit or implicit.
The brain by nature is continually projecting the worst case scenarios, constantly
generating imaginary stories with a negative outcome, in order to be prepared to
avoid them and SURVIVE. It is enough to imagine a possible dangerous situation, for the brain to activate all its natural defense mechanism and begin to generate thoughts, ideas, emotions and sensations, and finally actions, that lead it to avoid confronting any dangerous situation. This explains why we humans are so inclined to fear and to be suggestible - it is the brain´s strategy to keep us safe.
In childhood, as the kid´s mind is still virgin, it becomes a thousand times more
suggestible than an adult’s brain. The suggestions caused at that age are recorded FOREVER, since the brain records these beliefs or experiences as vital information to survive in the future. After that permanently, over and over again, it will reproduce them explicitly or implicitly (without being aware of it) to achieve its survival mission.
THE IGNORANCE THAT WE MUST ERADICATE
The ignorance of the above, by the great majority of society, has led us to
unconsciously use the mechanism of fear and punishment to educate our
children, without considering the harmful consequences on the normal
and healthy development of the human psyche, that means the mental
and emotional development.
By educating through fear, we are betting on the short term. By threatening we
accomplish many times our objectives as educators on the short term, however in the long term we are causing extraordinary harm to our kids.
There are religions, societies, whole social orders that have sustained their education in fear, guilt and punishment. In fact, our present culture is based on these nefarious principles and the consequences are present, although we are not aware of it.
Let us now see which is, according to our and the criteria of many experts in the field of human development, the WORST and most disastrous of all fears we can instill.
THE FEAR OF GOD: GUILT AND PUNISHMENT
- “Did you see what happened to you? - God punished you”
– “That happened to you for misbehaving” – “God will punish you”
– “If you misbehave, you’ll go to hell” - or its current version: “Everything
comes back to you”; “everything is being paid”; “mistakes are paid”;
“universal laws are inexorable and sooner or later you will have to pay”;
“nature does not forgive” or “you cannot escape from the Universe”...
The BELIEF that there is a superior being, a thing, a “something” that judges us and awards us or punishes us for our behavior, is without doubt the WORST and most terrible and inhibiting of all beliefs that exists. it is the mother of all the nefast beliefs and the main cause of the great amount of irrational FEARS that people suffer.
In spite of the fact that the generation of our kids or maybe we ourselves have never heard these kind of expressions, for example, “God will punish you”, or “you are going to hell!”; DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE ARE EXEMPT FROM THAT CONDITIONING.
Scientific studies in the area of Epigenetics for instance, today show us how those beliefs are anchored in us, since we inherit them from our ancestors through our genes and they are unconsciously part of our IDENTITY.
Indeed, even while never having been inside a religious sanctuary, convictions are transmitted from age to age at the hereditary level, and after that are fortified by the data we get reliably from outside.
THE SAME CLOWN WITH DIFFERENT COSTUME
Studying chronologically the evolution of mental currents fostering the fear of God or a Higher Being, we can observe that - although the political, cultural or religious mental currents are changing their names and forms - they contain in their essence the equivalent coercive variables of sin, guilt, debt, fear and punishment.
Today through the New Age or comparable mental currents, there are expressions that contain the same root and are based on the same limiting belief. Although they no longer refer to a certain God, they use the name of the Universe, The Law, Nature, Karma, or whatever ... to express the same belief that feeds the sense of guilt and the implicit fear of punishment.
The nature of belief is always the same. The psychological components: ERROR, SIN, GUILT, DEBT, REWARD OR PUNISHMENT are the same. Only the accusing subject changes. They change the name, but deep down there is the same limiting belief: a person or thing who is watching and judging us all the time, and that relying upon these criteria we merit or not his love and consideration.
This BELIEF hides the decline of the human being. We are being diminished to a simple object without any power, that has to obey blindly to someone else with more authority. It is the total submission of the ability to think in the face of fear.
Although it is hard to accept, these are some of the harmful consequences of
educating children under the belief that there is a superior punishing being, and
instilling in them the fear of error and mistake.
Let’s dive further into the staggering impact that fear bearing beliefs have on us.
THE ORIGIN OF ALL CONFLICTS
Different disciplines, from the most rational through those that combine science and psychology - the most metaphysical and even the most innovative such as quantum physics and neuropsychology - agree that the origin of any type of disease is caused by the inconsistency between one or more areas of our psychology.
The main inconsistencies are between our conscious / rational mind and our subconscious / emotional mind.
What the most developed studies in the area of health clarify, is that when there is a conflict, a very large incoherence between our conscious brain and our unconscious mind, we live in a constant state of imbalance, which causes permanent stress. If the inconsistency is extreme, the body communicates it through some ailment or disease in order to resume the natural balance.
On the one hand, to unconsciously believe that we are guilty or indebted to be alive and that for making mistakes we will be punished and, on the other hand, at the same time consciously desire to live and experience life in full freedom: This is the mother of all inconsistencies, which keep us in a kind of MENTAL PRISON or hypnotic trance, that prevents us from developing our full potential and reaching our highest goals.
What kind of healthy and rational mind can accept such an irrationality? NONE!!
Unfortunately, a large part of our society is caught in duality, CONSCIOUSLY desiring freedom, greatness, abundance, prosperity and free will, but at the same time, UNCONSCIOUSLY FEARING THE PUNISHMENT due to challenging the authority.
Lack of self-love, lack of confidence and self-esteem, lack of will, procrastination
and all other weaknesses and insecurities: all the irrational fears that man
experiences in the course of his life arise from the incoherence of this irrational
Being a mother-fundamental belief, referring to GOD and our ORIGIN, it is like a
great root from which each and every branch of the tree is fed. If the root is
continuously feeding rotten water, everything else, the flowers and fruits, will also be contaminated and rotten, no matter how much we fight to take care of our tree.
Until we don’t incorporate into our life a new belief that brings coherence and harmony between our conscious mind and our subconscious mind, that means to be in balance and harmony with the principles of the universe and nature, we will live permanently in a state of alertness and danger.
Being governed by fears and anguishes, without beingVable to exploit our maximum potential as human beings and achieve our life purpose.
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?
As responsible adults, as parents and educators, we have the moral OBLIGATION and the inescapable DUTY to face this problem once and for all, and confront those disastrous and limiting beliefs that have constantly been affecting our lives, and will continue to affect the lives of our children if we don’t do something about it.
We have the extraordinary opportunity to be the connection in the chain where old beliefs and irrational fears die and become an AMAZING STIMULUS to create another hereditary line for all our descendants - new hereditary line - consisting of value and a new mentality of overcoming and steady progress.
A UNIQUE AND UNREPEATABLE OPPORTUNITY
Being the child´s mind a fertile land, we have the opportunity to instill new
overcoming beliefs, and use the knowledge we have today about the functioning of the brain and the mind to CONSCIOUSLY incorporate new concepts and ideas that are full of value, greatness, optimism and love.
From our roll of parents and educators we have a historic, unique and unrepeatable OPPORTUNITY to help germinate a new tree, with healthy and strong roots that give sweet and tasty fruits. We CAN cut today with the mental currents that promote guilt, debt, punishment and fear and completely transform our lives and those of our youngsters.
We CAN incorporate into our lives new and powerful beliefs that feed new thoughts, new ideas, new feelings and sensations. Like this we get our personal power back and get enabled to live a life full of wealth, abundance, well-being and prosperity. A life free of irrational fears that restrict our freedom.
RECOMMENDATIONS AND RESOURCES WE CAN USE TO TRANSFORM
OUR OLD LIMITED BELIEFS INTO NEW POTENTIATING BELIEFS
We will now see some recommendations and resources that we can use to resignify any negative belief we have and change it for a new one with a POSITIVE IMPACT on our lives and those of our children.
The recommendations that we are going to share here are backed by the
experience of millions of people who, changing their beliefs, have managed to
completely change their lives and have been taken as examples of success by
the most outstanding professionals and experts in the area of health and human
It isn´t humanly balanced to attempt to change 5,000 years of dogmatism and
disastrous beliefs in seven days, a month or even a year. It is the steady and
consistent action and rehearsal that will end up establishing a new belief in our life. A new way of thinking, feeling and acting.
Youngsters have a great advantage: their mind is virgin; it isn´t yet contaminated. In any case, BE CAREFUL! If we intend to instill a new belief by force; using the same violent mechanisms that we have described, we will not be doing anything new to the above. And even if the new beliefs are very beautiful and positive, the result will not vary.
PATIENCE, tolerance and generosity are essential to perform a good pedagogical task. The practice of free will develop the best learning opportunities and incorporation of new concepts and thoughts.
5 BASIC PRINCIPLES TO FEEL NEW POTENTIATING BELIEFS IN OUR LIFE AND THE LIFE OF OUR CHILDREN
1 - Establish the guiding principle of our life
Consciously choose a base belief, a root belief that is the value on which all other beliefs, ideas, concepts that guide our lives and the lives of our children are based.
This belief can be an already pre-established idea or something totally new. An
exercise that can guide us is to first define how we want our life to be, and what
experience we want to live, is to ask us:
What experiences we want our children to live?
What goals do we want to achieve together? and based on that question (regardless of what I believe today) what do I need to believe in order to live that life that I desire so much? What fundamental belief should my child have to live a life without limitations?
This exercise is very powerful. No matter what you believe today, what really matters is just what you want to believe to live a life - your life and your children’s life - without limitations.
2 - Eliminate inconsistencies
Regardless of whether we choose to believe in a superior force, a God or whatever (it is a personal discretion), the rst thing we should do is eliminate the inconsistencies of our message.
Therefore we should ensure that this belief is based on natural principles, which can be supported by logic and the common sense of our kids.
Another aspect to ensure that is that it should be veriable by observing and
studying the phenomena of the universe, nature and, primarily, that it is
overcoming. That means it can be expanded, developing and evolving over time.
3 - Eliminate the component of guilt and punishment
It is enough to read only a few sections of some sacred text, to nd that the picture they had of the divinity was that of an avenging, unreasonable, minimal tolerant and punishing being. That image, although many generations have passed, are still recorded in our mental retina and it is what constantly feeds the irrational fears we live with every day.
To avoid continuing to feed the dire ideas of guilt and punishment and the
consequences they bring, we MUST eliminate from our mind and our vocabulary
any image associated with guilt and/or punishment.
It almost goes without saying that using terms like “God will punish you“ ,“You are going to hell” or words associated to a devil, etc., have no place in this new belief that we are going to install.
This forces us to give new meaning to mistakes. Associating mistakes with natural learning, progress and evolution is one of the best ways to eliminate the concept of judgment or punishment from the mind.
4 - Promote courage, optimism, and full confidence in life
To achieve courage, optimism, and full confidence in life we must nurture our new belief in values, virtues and abilities that we desire for our lives.
Don´t forget that it doesn´t matter what you thought before. This is a new belief that we will consciously install in us and therefore we can choose at will what
components we want it to have.
It doesn´t matter how you think life is (what they made you believe). What matters, once again, is how you want your life to be and how you want your
child to conceive his or her own life.
Choose the best virtues, the broadest and most generous ideas that seem most appropriate and incorporate them into your way of thinking, feeling, speaking and acting.
5 - Write down, repeat and practice every day
Substitute an old and anchored belief, by a new one, is not a simple task, but it IS POSSIBLE. It is even more possible if we focus on the little ones, on our children, who still don´t have the mind crammed with incongruous information. But like every important task, it needs a component of order and discipline to make it effective.
That is why it is advisable to write down CLEARLY and PRECISELY what is the new belief about the existence and life we want to adopt, and read it every day and practice it every time we have the opportunity, together with our children.
The DAILY REPETITION of the concept and the experiences lived under that new belief, will create little by little the permanent installation in them to live a life full of resources and without limitations of any kind.
THE INVERTED MIRROR TECHNIQUE
This technique consists rst of pointing out on a paper the limiting beliefs we have, or that we believe we have, whether about God, life or ourselves. Then fully reverse their polarity and point to the same concept, and express it in a positive way. For example:
1 - If we suspect that we have the belief that we are guilty of something and that is why we deserve punishment, we can create a new belief that says:
God, the universe, nature, and life are kind and generous to me. All the
experiences I live daily are to learn, grow, expand and evolve. Without making mistakes I cannot evolve. Mistakes are the most natural way to learn and evolve.
2 - If we suspect that in some way our success, our growth and our expansion challenge a higher power, we can take that as a basis and reverse the polarity and generate a new belief that says:
Everything in the universe and in nature is constantly changing, growing,
expanding and evolving (that is a law and a truth that I can verify). Growing, expanding, succeeding and evolving I am one with the universe and therefore I live protected.
3 - If you think that the problems and challenges you face are the result of
bad luck or some kind of punishment, you can transform that limiting belief into another empowering one:
Every challenge, every problem, every difculty is a gift of life, to make me
smarter, stronger, braver, more powerful and successful. Each difculty is a great opportunity that gives me life to learn and to succeed!
Each limiting belief we find, can be TRANSFORMED into its opposite,
and with training and persistence we can enable our youngsters to
build up a POWERFUL image of themselves, based on healthy selfesteem, and sound confidence.
BY CHANGING A SIMPLE BELIEF, YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY
By modifying the central belief that governs our lives, and from where all other
beliefs are fed, sustained and detached, you will see how MAGICALLY all other
areas of your life and your kid´s life start to change, thrive and experience a great change.
There are thousands and thousands of testimonies of individuals who have
experienced an absolute transformation in their lives by just changing the belief they had about GOD and LIFE.
By purifying a central belief, by decantation, the rest of the compartments that make up our psychology and, in this way, all areas of our life, are puried one by one.
There are testimonies that prove how changing the concept of God, has an
extremely positive impact in the area of nance and health. Spectacular truth?
Thoughts, emotions and feelings of fear, guilt, resentment and low self-esteem,
previously fed constantly by an irrational belief, begin to lose strength. Gradually we create and take new ideas and new thoughts, which become new emotions and new sensations that enable us to perform new tasks, face new challenges and live our life each time fuller.
What a beautiful gift we can give our children by instilling beliefs and ideas that are not contaminated by fear, guilt or punishment. In contrast, they are based on reality, value, security, generosity and optimism.
Without a doubt, it is the most important gift we can give them. A gift that, in order to give it, we first have to receive it ourselves.